eliayase: (Default)
Kai's lips are really soft. Like, the guy probably uses some kind of product. It's crazy. And they taste like orange sometimes. That was nice. And you know how fingers intertwine and fit together perfectly? Lips do that too. It's weird. Ben felt weird for thinking about it.

Plus Kai had this really sweet habit of kissing Ben before he ran off to his modeling job. Not even a "good morning", just a kiss and run. The entire day Ben would feel loved.

Kai was really good at that, making people feel loved. Making them feel like they were worthwhile. He'd talk to anyone, compliment them, cheer them on. The merman was hard to hate, but he was so easy to love.

And for Ben, it didn't matter how easy it was. He'd do it even if it were difficult. He'd do anything to give back the beautiful man all of the love he gave. Double that, even. Ben would give Kai every kiss in the world if it helped him to realize how wonderful he truly was.
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Cerulean. Sea. Oceanic. Scenic. Aquamarine. Crystal. Sapphire. Sky. Sea glass. 

You could drown in them.
Deep pools of salty blue, tide pools warmed on the shore and brimming with new life.

You could fly in them. 
Open air, growing wide and full of curiosity, the sun's light reflecting on a shining cloud glaze. 

You could find love in them.
A reflection, affection, like glimmering mirrors. Melted silver. You could see yourself in them, see yourself in ways you could never imagine on your own. He sees people as who they could be.

Kai's eyes are portals to better places. Doors to where he wants to be. Freedom in the form of big navy blue space, expansive and unexplored blue waters. 
Life in a shade of blue.

Blue veins. Blue lips.
Beautiful blue eyes.
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Ben snapped.
It had been Kai's idea to visit this bar. It was small and dark and smelled like sweat but Kai had convinced him that the alcohol was worth it. You know what wasn't? The company.
Kai had ordered some crazy fruity vodka cocktail or something while Ben had water. He was being a responsible adult tonight, and responsible adults don't get drunk off their ass before driving. 

It had been a half hour or so since they'd arrived and Kai claimed to need the restroom. Ben waved him off, pretending to be interested in the hockey game on the bar TV. God, he didn't want to be here. He could be at home watching Mean Girls with hot chocolate right now, dammit!

It had been about ten minutes and Kai wasn't back. Ben was starting to worry. Climbing off of the bar stool he'd perched on, Ben rushed to the restroom hall. Nothing. He peeked in the bathroom, checking under the stalls for feet. Nothing. Goddammit. 
Once in the hall again Ben heard some noise coming from... outside? Oh god, there was a door to the alley outside at the end of the hall. 

Rushing to throw open the door, the scene before him made Ben both want to cry and rip someone's head off. Two thugs, likely drunk as hell, had Kai slumped against the brick wall of the building, the moon the only source of light. The two drunks turned their heads, staring Ben down. Ben was pretty sure Kai had a black eye and some cuts, but he couldn't tell in the limited light.

Now, Ben wasn't a violent guy. He didn't like hurting people. Not mentally, not physically. But this was pushing his limits. 

Stepping towards them, 
Ben reached for his phone, a clearly pissed off look on his face. They weren't too much bigger. He could take them.
"If you back off now maybe I'll leave you to the authorities and keep my own hands off." Ben grunted. Kai didn't look like he was deathly hurt, just unconscious. Good, Ben didn't want his partner to see this. 

One of the brutes smirked, cracking his knuckles. "Looks like we've got a hero type, eh?" He took a swaggering step towards Ben.
The brunet raised a brow.
"No, just a functioning fiancé." He stated.
The thug looked surprised at that. "Oh, a fag? Now I won't feel as bad when I pound your skull into the pavement."
Okay, no. Wrong move. Ben rushed forward, slugging the guy right in the face, hearing a satisfying crack. The thug staggered backwards, clutching his now broken nose. Ben scowled, strolling over to Kai and scooping him up. 

"Now, if you'll excuse me, this fag," Ben spat the word like it was poison, "Has to get home and take care of this dumb fuck." He snarled down at Kai. It wasn't really his fault, but Ben was still pretty pissed at him.

For now, the freckled man was going to confidently strut out of the alley, leaving behind a baffled couple of drunks. He'd sic some of his goose friends on the two first thing tomorrow. For now, he'd get Kai home to tend to the wounds.
eliayase: (Default)
idek what this is but it isn't the hans fic lol maybe next time

Ben stared at the ceiling, a worried look plastered on his face. He'd been having some strange thoughts recently. More sad than strange, honestly. 
Kai would be worried. That's why Ben didn't want to share. He'd do anything to keep the bad things of the world away from his best friend. His everything. 

The ceiling stared back down. Sometimes Ben felt like he was being crushed by his own room. Like the building was closing in on him. He was born for open skies, not a big, paper-covered cement box. 
Did Kai ever feel this way? Did he wish he was in the sea, in his element again? Was the human world ever more of a hell and less of a paradise for him?

Ben rolled over on his bed, burying his face in a pillow. Was there a way to stop thinking? He didn't want Kai to miss home. Not because it hurt Kai, but because Ben was selfish. He was selfish and greedy and he wanted Kai to be his forever. For him to be by his side and literally pull his hand through life, through the fun experiences and devastating losses. 

It was hard to breathe with the pillow pressed to his face. Permanent loss of breath... death. That was how one stops thinking. Stops suffering. Stops loving. True freedom.
Flipping over again and moving the pillow to hug it, Ben continued to ponder.

Being the... creature he was, how long would he live? 
Would Kai leave first?
Would one of them be stuck alone in this hell called the human world? 

Ben didn't think he could stand that. Don't some animals die of loneliness? Did that include himself? 

Seeing Kai in a dream-like state, radiant but dull. Those glowing blue eyes shut for good, him all dressed in white, surrounded by flowers and unbrea-- ... no. No. Ben refused to think about that.

Quickly pushing off the covers, Ben rushed to the window and loudly threw open the curtains, breathing heavily. The peachy morning was just beginning to melt away the murky blue-black of the night. The stars were just barely visible. Suddenly, the future didn't matter so much. Ben felt the muscles in his face he didn't know were clenched soften. His hands fell to his sides, missing a certain pair of matching ones. He could see the sky. He'd never be trapped, not as long as the sky was there. 

After all, what was more free and dazzling than a future with the one you love? Not even the glittering sky compared. They would survive, together. And when the time did come when one of them left the other behind, all they would need to do is look to the blue abyss.

Ben didn't think he could forget the cerulean sky in Kai's eyes even if he tried. 
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"Sir Benjamin Forrest of the Eastern Mountains." The king's voice thundered, echoing throughout the castle's Great Hall. Were the formalities really necessary? As if the king's dramatic tone wasn't enough to make the brunet cringe already. 
He was kneeling before the throne, head bowed to stare at the red carpet. Finally, a mission he could complete despite being a newcomer. After all, he was the only knight bred in the mountains. Not so disposable now, huh? The higher-ups would eat their words.

"You may rise." The king nodded down to the freckled knight. Half of the kingdom had come to see Ben's return. It had only been a mountain journey, holy hell. He hadn't slain any dragons. A couple ogres and possessed animals, yes, but no dragons. The plan should still work, no matter the extra eyes. They'd worked on this for weeks.

The second he stood up, Ben's eyes flicked around the throne area of the room. The king's many daughters were seated around him, while the buff-looking princes sat on smaller thrones at his sides, excluding the youngest. The princesses were all quite pretty, dressed up in jewel colors and all sorts of crazy hairpieces (Ben couldn't understand royal fashion trends).

The king smiled toothily, outstretching his arms. "As a reward for your valiant efforts, I will allow your marriage to one of my daughters." Unsurprisingly, not one of the princesses looked too pleased by this statement.
Ben immediately shook his head, looking the king right in the eye. Go time.

"Actually, I'd prefer something else, your majesty." Ben replied, biting back a frightened grimace. There was no turning back now. He straightened up, trying to sound confident. This was their chance!
"I would like your youngest son." 

At the mention of the youngest prince, a pretty raven-haired boy around Ben's age (possibly older?) practically strutted into the Great Hall and over to the king's side. Ben reminded himself to yell at the little drama queen later. 
"So you're in need of a servant? Riches?" The king raised a gray brow, puzzled by Ben's sudden statement. The youngest prince looked mildly annoyed by the usage of "servant". 

"No, your majesty." The jade-eyed knight bowed deeply, avoiding the judgmental look he was about to receive. "I wish for his hand. Not one your daughters'." 
The prince was bouncing on the balls of his feet, looking mighty excited. The king groaned, resting his chin in one hand and making a shooing motion with the other. 
"Fine, fine. You can have him. All he does is whine and embroider, anyway."

At that, the prince just barely barreled into Ben, the two laughing and smiling. It was as if the rest of the room didn't matter. 
"It worked, Ben! It worked! I can't believe you actually did it!" Kai, the youngest of the princes, rejoiced.
"Shut up, you fool!" Ben ruffled the other's hair, pressing a quick peck to his forehead.
The two laughed, clasping hands and heading towards the castle door. 

The shocked looks of the royals and townsfolk didn't matter. Nothing mattered to Ben except Kai, and now they wouldn't have to hide their affections. Not from his family, not from the servants, not from the rest of the world. No more midnight room visits or secret embraces in the corridors.

Ben supposed there really were such thing as happily ever afters.
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I'm easily hurt but didn't know I could cry this hard. I've breathed in fire but didn't know my lungs could burn this much. I didn't know a lot of things. Where is your breath? Where is the gentle rise and fall of your chest? Can I give you mine?

I didn't know this would be so difficult. That's a lie. I knew it would be hard. This is war. War kills people, Kai.
We aren't people, though. Are we? Are we better? Are we worse?
Are we worthless? Are we cursed? You weren't. Stars can't be cursed.

I thought we had a chance, Kai. When we held hands before the battle and you told me that everything was okay and that I didn't need to cry and that we were stronger together and that we could win I believed you. 
You broke that promise, Kai. It's the first time you ever have.

I'm not supposed to be holding you like this. I'm not supposed to be carrying you home. I'm not supposed to have to scream. I'm not supposed to see you leave first. WHY DID YOU LEAVE FIRST? 

I can't do this.

You're so cold, Kai. I'm not used to it.

I can't do this. 

I didn't know a lot of things. 
You're so cold. Your hands. Your face. 
Your heart isn't beating, Kai.

I don't know if mine is, either. 
eliayase: (Default)
@mel im not sorry at all
i would kill for benkai

It wasn't the most common of occurrences, but sometimes Kai had nightmares.
Ben knew this for a fact. It didn't matter if Kai admitted it or not, the look on his face when he woke with a start told everything. Cerulean eyes wide, like a storm was brewing inside. You could see into his mind as if his beautiful orbs were tide pools. Tonight was no different.

Ben had been woken up by a loud gasp for air, as if someone was choking. Like a fish out of water. Even in the dark bedroom the brunet could make out his partner's panicked profile. It took mere seconds for him to throw the covers off of his legs and scoot to the other's side. 
It was almost as if Kai was petrified, face frozen and breathing scarce. Ben did the first thing that came to mind: surround the other with warmth to melt the fear away.

The freckled man wrapped his arms around the startled merman, coaxing him closer. He pushed his dark bangs aside and pressed a tender kiss to his forehead, smiling. 
Ben had a lot of experience dealing with bad dreams. Whenever his sister had them she would sneak into his room and wake him up, wanting to tell him all about her dream and eventually make him read her a story. Or sing her a lullaby, on some occasions. This memory gave Ben an idea.

He was no Justin Timberlake or Frank Sinatra but Ben could sing. Somewhat. Not in front of crowds, but it's not like Kai would laugh. Not in his current condition, at least. It was worth a shot.

Taking a deep breath, Ben rested his chin on the top of Kai's head, still holding him close, and began the song. His singing was soft, gentle. The whispering breeze through a meadow of dandelions. 

"Come stop your crying
It will be alright
Just take my hand
Hold it tight

I will protect you
From all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry

For one so small,
You seem so strong
My arms will hold you,
Keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
Can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry

'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more

You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart, always"

By the time he was finished, Kai was back to sleep. Ben prayed that he wouldn't remember this in the morning, but who knows with his tough luck. 

The last thing Ben saw before dozing off was the sweetest smile on Kai's face. 
In that moment, he swore that he'd endure a thousand nightmares if it meant seeing that beautiful face when he woke.
eliayase: (Default)

can't stop won't stop m8

When Ben agreed to tutoring students failing science he didn't expect a relationship to be part of the package.

A week or so after turning in the form he'd received to sign up to tutor the name of the student he'd be helping was sent in the mail. Ben had almost dropped the letter. "Kai Mizushima" it had read. The swim team captain. Party boy extraordinaire. Voted hottest guy by the entirety of the female (and some not) student body. King of the school. Ben was nothing compared to him. A speck of dust. Someone to copy homework off of, if Ben was lucky.

The first time they'd met up was a struggle. It was at Ben's house, and just seeing Kai out of school and part of Ben's world was thrilling. They'd sat down in his room, Ben pulling out all of his chemistry work, and sat in silence for what seemed like years before Kai broke it.

"Aren't we supposed to be making out or something?" The raven-haired boy asked, quirking a brow.
Ben wasn't surprised, actually. Kai was the sort who'd get with anyone as long as they had a functioning mouth and... Ben was stopping there. That was biology, not chemistry.

"That's a terrible cliche." The brunet deadpanned in response, yet a jittery feeling rushed through his body. 
"You seriously wanted to tutor someone?" Kai looked genuinely taken aback, clutching his chest. Was this guy even real?

"Yeah, I'm fortunate enough to have some scientific expertise and I thought I'd share it. This isn't a blind dating service." Ben shrugged nonchalantly. This was not ok. Kai motherfucking Mizushima was in his room and wanted to make out. Repeat: not ok.

Ok, maybe it was a tiny bit ok. Maybe Ben was a little eensie-weensie tiny-winy bit ok with the idea of kissing the hottest guy in school in his room where nobody could judge him. 

He took a deep breath, looking the other in the eye.
"Okay, forget it. We've got, like, 5 more sessions. Studying can wait."


Neither one of them did very well on their test that semester. 
eliayase: (Default)

a kind of response to Mel's newest post

It's funny, how Kai always compares the dark flecks on his skin to stars. He'd trace constellations on his back, cheeks, and forearms and talk about how cute they were.
It was humorous to Ben, though, because Kai was the real star.

Ben could be the scatter of light across the dark sea of space, but Kai was Polaris. He was the bright guiding light not just for Ben but for the entire group.
He joked and jested and pranked but it kept them stable. It kept their little planet spinning. Without his constant happy attitude to even out the more serious members of the team everything could fall to pieces.

Especially to Ben was he a guide and shining example. Even if they both struggled with their past mistakes and fear of the future, Kai kept him from shattering. Kai held him together in his arms and everything was okay. Okay. Not perfect, but safe. Ben hoped that one day he'd be able to do the same for his bright and beautiful partner.

Kai may have wanted to catch stars, but how is that possible when you are one?
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Since exams are coming up, why not upload extra to make up for lost days?

This isn't canon, but is set before the two were in a relationship.

"...What is it with the two of us and insulting and bugging each  other, anyway?" 
Ben, lying horizontally on the sofa with a book in hand, looked up at the other's sudden question.
"What do you mean?"

"Ever since I joined this household I feel like you've been perpetually angry at me." Kai sighed, poking the freckled man's legs so he'd move. After taking a seat he craned his neck to stare at the plaster ceiling. 
"Did I do something wrong?" He asked quietly, brows furrowed.

Ben sat up, carefully putting his book down on the carpet. "Not really...? I mean..." He placed a hand under his chin, expression thoughtful. "You're kinda putting me on the spot here. Sure, sometimes you kinda force me into stuff that humiliates or surprises me, but it's all harmless." 

"Sure is still a yes." Kai grumbled, removing his gaze from the ceiling to look at the other. "Look, I don't want things to be tense or awkward between us. I know that I can be a bit of a handful," Ben gave him a disbelieving look. "Okay, a lot of a handful, but you gotta communicate." 

Ben raised a dark brow, chuckling softly. "I know that you like being the center of attention and outgoing and stuff. It's kinda entertaining, so I don't really mind the shenanigans. You're making it sound like we're a couple, though." 
Kai shrugged, grinning.
"That wasn't my intention, but take it any way you want. Not like it isn't a possibility."

Ben promptly picked up his book and chucked it at the merman's face. 
eliayase: (Default)
The first of my many drabbles of the challenge! Could be considered an epilogue thing to Mel's recent entry. Probably not canon, but I digress.

The second he'd seen the new addition to the household he'd physically cringed.

Was the guy straight out of the sea or something? His dark hair was like seaweed, tangled and wavy, and his skin tanned as a surfer's. Hobbling over to the sofa, Ben could've sworn the other was cursing under his breath from pain as he walked. 

He could practically smell the saltwater and sandy shores from across the room. Oh god, was this guy a mer? Looking over the newbie once more, imagining a scaly tail and the like, it seemed to fit. 

Yet the brunet realized that he couldn't judge the other. He'd been the same when he'd first arrived: messy-haired, wobbly-legged, and scared. Maybe the other needed the same things he had. Adventure. Friends. A new life. Maybe he'd just wanted to be... part of this world.

After a moment's pause (partially from snickering at his own joke) Ben channeled his inner social butterfly and joined the boy on the sofa. He caught the other's sea glass blue eyes with a small smile. 

"Welcome home."


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