eliayase: (Default)
[personal profile] eliayase
idek what this is but it isn't the hans fic lol maybe next time

Ben stared at the ceiling, a worried look plastered on his face. He'd been having some strange thoughts recently. More sad than strange, honestly. 
Kai would be worried. That's why Ben didn't want to share. He'd do anything to keep the bad things of the world away from his best friend. His everything. 

The ceiling stared back down. Sometimes Ben felt like he was being crushed by his own room. Like the building was closing in on him. He was born for open skies, not a big, paper-covered cement box. 
Did Kai ever feel this way? Did he wish he was in the sea, in his element again? Was the human world ever more of a hell and less of a paradise for him?

Ben rolled over on his bed, burying his face in a pillow. Was there a way to stop thinking? He didn't want Kai to miss home. Not because it hurt Kai, but because Ben was selfish. He was selfish and greedy and he wanted Kai to be his forever. For him to be by his side and literally pull his hand through life, through the fun experiences and devastating losses. 

It was hard to breathe with the pillow pressed to his face. Permanent loss of breath... death. That was how one stops thinking. Stops suffering. Stops loving. True freedom.
Flipping over again and moving the pillow to hug it, Ben continued to ponder.

Being the... creature he was, how long would he live? 
Would Kai leave first?
Would one of them be stuck alone in this hell called the human world? 

Ben didn't think he could stand that. Don't some animals die of loneliness? Did that include himself? 

Seeing Kai in a dream-like state, radiant but dull. Those glowing blue eyes shut for good, him all dressed in white, surrounded by flowers and unbrea-- ... no. No. Ben refused to think about that.

Quickly pushing off the covers, Ben rushed to the window and loudly threw open the curtains, breathing heavily. The peachy morning was just beginning to melt away the murky blue-black of the night. The stars were just barely visible. Suddenly, the future didn't matter so much. Ben felt the muscles in his face he didn't know were clenched soften. His hands fell to his sides, missing a certain pair of matching ones. He could see the sky. He'd never be trapped, not as long as the sky was there. 

After all, what was more free and dazzling than a future with the one you love? Not even the glittering sky compared. They would survive, together. And when the time did come when one of them left the other behind, all they would need to do is look to the blue abyss.

Ben didn't think he could forget the cerulean sky in Kai's eyes even if he tried. 


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